This was really well done! And I had to laugh to myself because I had an ex who used to always say the universe was conspiring against him, which I thought was bs, but maybe he pissed it off? ;-)
I don't know about him, but every so often I have a bad day where it does feel like the universe is out to get me. Thankfully, I've avoided encountering weird vortexes and Lovecraftian monsters.
I've been feeling like that a little myself lately... haha. But, hey, I guess we can be grateful for the lack of vortexes and monsters! (I'm all for celebrating the small victories ;-)
This was very nicely done, John. The creeping dread of the messages was very effective and an ambiguous ending always makes me happy. A great wee story. Well done 👍🏼
Thank you, Dan. I'm happy you enjoyed the story. 😊
I opted for the ambiguous ending so I could leave an open ended question concerning Ben's fate in the reader's mind. It felt more effective than my original ending which kind of telegraphed his fate.
I can relate to Ben because I laugh at my own jokes, too. I read a meme that said we laugh at our own jokes because we are our own target audience. You just happen yo be there.
I originally started to write another sentence after that one, stopped midway through, and erased it. Stopping on the final message worked so much better. I left it to the reader to decide for themselves exactly what happened to Ben rather than just telling them.
It was the perfect way to end it. Letting the reader use their imagination as to how the scales would be balanced. Just the fact that The Universe was able to enter his townhouse and manipulate a smartphone to send him foreboding messages about what was to come in the first place was trippy, and it built up enough suspense to give the reader a good imaginative push into how Ben’s story would end. I realize that was a horribly long run on sentence. 🙈😅
Nice!! I love that you turned it into such a cool story. Well done, sir.
Thank you for the inspiration. I love when a story comes together in my mind so quickly.
The Universe is smiling on you.😁
This was really well done! And I had to laugh to myself because I had an ex who used to always say the universe was conspiring against him, which I thought was bs, but maybe he pissed it off? ;-)
Thank you. 😎
I don't know about him, but every so often I have a bad day where it does feel like the universe is out to get me. Thankfully, I've avoided encountering weird vortexes and Lovecraftian monsters.
I've been feeling like that a little myself lately... haha. But, hey, I guess we can be grateful for the lack of vortexes and monsters! (I'm all for celebrating the small victories ;-)
But what did my man do??? 😭
He made the Universe angry. Just like Bruce Banner, you won't like the Universe when it gets angry.
Note to self: never piss off the universe.
Indeed. The Universe holds a grudge.
This was very nicely done, John. The creeping dread of the messages was very effective and an ambiguous ending always makes me happy. A great wee story. Well done 👍🏼
Thank you, Dan. I'm happy you enjoyed the story. 😊
I opted for the ambiguous ending so I could leave an open ended question concerning Ben's fate in the reader's mind. It felt more effective than my original ending which kind of telegraphed his fate.
I can relate to Ben because I laugh at my own jokes, too. I read a meme that said we laugh at our own jokes because we are our own target audience. You just happen yo be there.
Same here. I can say without a doubt I laugh at my jokes more than family and friends do.
“The Universe balances the scales ⚖️” Terrific final line! *Chef’s kiss* 🤌
Thank you, Cassie!
I originally started to write another sentence after that one, stopped midway through, and erased it. Stopping on the final message worked so much better. I left it to the reader to decide for themselves exactly what happened to Ben rather than just telling them.
It was the perfect way to end it. Letting the reader use their imagination as to how the scales would be balanced. Just the fact that The Universe was able to enter his townhouse and manipulate a smartphone to send him foreboding messages about what was to come in the first place was trippy, and it built up enough suspense to give the reader a good imaginative push into how Ben’s story would end. I realize that was a horribly long run on sentence. 🙈😅
What a great story, John! I was riveted.
Thank you, Andrei! I'm happy you enjoyed it. 😊